I bought a brand new telephoto lens yesterday. You know i tried to use ebay and gave up. Ebay is the worst; what happened in the last few years to make everybody think their junk is so valuable? No good deals anymore. I know, try Craigslist, but I heard everyone who uses Craigslist gets killed in their sleep by Craig. It's probably just a rumor. Anyway, it was Saturday in the late afternoon, I am out with my new lens and I see this idiot deer walking around and I am thinking to myself, "hey idiot, you are lucky your ancestors took care of your natural selection obligations, because if you didn't blend in with your surroundings so good, you'd be a bullet holder." I think, sort of, hard-nosed like that because I am a squirrel from the hard-knocks side of the street. BTW I know the photo is a little blurry, but jeezus, you've seen my hands, a 600mm telephoto lens is a bitch for me to handhold. Yeah baby, it is that big. I think I need a tripod. Speaking of, I kicked my girlfriend out last week. I'll check on Ebay for a tripod. You know, since I got out of jail, i have just been a little lost, nobody wants to hire a squirrel with a felony conviction, or really even without a felony conviction. If you are a squirrel and you can't ride a surfboard being pulled by a remote controlled boat - you don't work in this town. Let me sum it up, Wife - don't know anymore, anything. Kids - ?, maybe another one on the way, the girlfriend I kicked out was acting a bit nesty. Neighbors - ugh. Future - ?, jimmy doesn't seem to be biting on the "squirrel cap" business plan. Sorry loyal blog readers, I know no one wants to read the meanderings of a unmedicated squirrel who has not successfully re-integrated into civilian life, but you are all I've got. I get the deer now, hiding in the open. Camouflaged but completely vulnerable. He is me, except he doesn't have new telephoto lens...or a potentially pregnant girlfriend who will not stop knocking on the door. i gotta go.
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2 comments:
Squirrel,
The pic didn't come through. Your loyal fans don't want to miss anything. Maybe that bum Jimmy sabotaged it. He is no doubt jealous of your following.
Concerned fan
Should be working now, sorry dearest concerned fan. hey, did you ever think about getting in on the groundfloor of the soon-to-be gigantic squirrel cap industry? An investment in destiny...sounds good doesn't it? When people ask you where your money is, you say, "i've invested it in destiny." that beats, "I gave it to a squirrel." I think. anyway, send me your bank, account number and your PIN to squirrelwrites@hugmymonkey.com
I will take care of the rest.
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