i gave up a smoke for this, it wasn't worth it

I think I already said this, but everyday is a choice for me, cigarettes or internet or nothing. if I am writing, I am not smoking, that puts me a little on edge, I'm told. I have a parole hearing in April and I'm really not sure if my wife was pregnant and had our kid (assuming it is mine), I don't know how her sister is doing, I am not sure about my house, did anyone drain the pool? and it all just made me wonder when i woke up this morning, miserable and alone, if I wasn't better off in jail, because compared to being out there with the rest of you, "miserable and alone" might just be an improvement.