I get called in to see the warden and he says to me "ya know squirrel, you're a funny guy." and of course I predictably retort "well, do you mean funny, laugh out loud, haha funny, or funny, curious and strange funny?" and the warden answers shortly, "both."
He continues, "squirrel, around here, funny is not appreciated. Funny is a problem. Funny makes people uncomfortable. All types of funny. I read your last post on the internet, and you are not staying here. Your parole hearing will happen on the 12th, with or without you. You will be paroled. You will leave, and if you ever come back, I will have you remove a section of your own large intestine, and I will personally make you suck dirt through it for 24 hours day until you die. Now go take some pictures of flowers, or some other sissie bullshit that you do, and shut the hell up until the day I finally get you and that teeny little pecker of yours out of my jail."
Well, I don't think I need to say it out loud, but I am going to anyway. My feelings are hurt, and I don't even have a bird.
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